One of the more crucial aspects of maintaining my peace of mind revolves around balancing both the adaptability I need when approaching new challenges, and being unaffected by negativity. To stay adaptable and unmoving, I visualize myself as a slow moving wave of light:

The core of my being is my heart, which is expressed in the control of my memories that are stored in the area of the brain known as the hippocampus. Conveniently, this sector lies almost directly in the center of your brain, so visualizing this as my core is very simple.

I then imagine my core(heart/memory) as a radial light source, which slowly flows outward. This helps me control what experiences I internalize, and what I simply acknowledge and move on from.

Visualizing yourself as these 2 layers(inner/outer) allows you to recognize that nothing on the surface layer should impact your mood and sense-of-self that lies protected in the core of your being.

Letting go of negative experiences can often be difficult, but taking things slowly, and truly understanding the individual emotions this negativity causes can clarify exactly why I feel these sometimes irrational feelings. Using these methods, I remain in precise control, and awareness of what goes on in my mind.

In my personal opinion, everyone should spend time observing the inner workings of their mind, but I'd also recommend being cautious about falling into any "rabbit holes" of meaningless thought. These endless cycles you can fall victim to are easily brought on, and will take you to an even worse mental state as you watch yourself become more and more confused. Trust me, I've been there too, but I've found a good balance in my awareness that gives me the strength to control my emotions.

~V

Many of you are wise beyond measure, and have built patience through diligent effort. I speak now to those who, like myself, have focused too much on proficiency in other areas of life early on, and now, decades older, have been working tirelessly to develop the skill of patience, unfortunately as an afterthought.

My experience with practicing patience has come and gone in different phases of my life. I would love to tell my younger self to do his best at taking things slow, and to be deliberate in action. If I had patience growing up, many of my unfulfilled goals in life would have been easier to attain, and I would have fewer missed opportunities to show for myself. I've often been quick to anger, and this has cost me peace in life at times it shouldn't have. I've often cut corners because I was tired of expending the effort. I've held on to unhealthy relationships because I didn't have the motivation to think through my issues well enough to separate from these bad influences.

What have these mistakes taught me?

I've come to agree with the elders that told us to take a step back from things. Being too emotionally connected to the uncontrollable events in life can wreak havoc on your state of mind, causing you to make decisions without really understanding their consequences and effects. This concept is something I endeavor to carry with me at all times.

A useful skill I've learned is to give myself phrases of reassurance, differing depending on the situation. I wouldn't dame to create a reassuring phrase for an individual, as the individual should have complete control of their own direction in life, though I can give examples of the phrases I use for my own peace of mind as inspiration for those interested in the idea:

• "This too, shall pass"

This phrase is a powerful one I've discovered through research on others with anxiety, and it helps me keep things in perspective. I use this phrase both in negative times, to help me understand that a painful or anxious time will be left behind, and in positive moments, to remind me to slow down and appreciate the good things in life.

• "Do your best"

I don't always have success when putting my focus to a task, but this phrase can remind me that I have the capability to improve if I keep working on achieving my goals. It also serves to remind that no one is perfect, so I shouldn't expect perfection from myself.

• "Regain your focus"

This is pretty self-explained, but I find the phrase useful when I notice my concentration slipping.

• "Carry it with you"

When I notice a positive change in my mental patterns, I do my best to carry the feeling of positivity with me, which enables my mind to replicate the positivity in the future, and to keep improving my mental state.

• "Keep it casual"

I use this phrase to remind myself that most thoughts aren't that important in the grand scheme, so internally, I should speak to myself casually, and I should react casually to those thoughts.

• "Only say/do what you're ready to"

In the spirit of patience, this phrase reminds me to take a moment before acting on a motivation if I need to. At the time of this post, this is my personal favorite phrase to tell myself, so I've saved it for last. The phrase helps me recenter my sense-of-self, which drives me to make better decisions.

Like I touched on earlier, no one phrase of reassurance will benefit everyone, so I don't recommend that everyone take these phrases and run with them. Sometimes you have to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you run. I would, however, recommend daily meditation time, in which you do your best to figure out what words you can give yourself that help you patiently move forward as the best individual you can be, whatever image that brings to your mind.

~V

My positivity comes and goes, as it does for everyone. I'd love to be an optimist at all times, but in this world, we face new challenges and horrific events every day, so it's rather impossible to maintain a positive mood through everything.

What I can maintain, is the ability to grow, and have a positive reaction to everything I face.

If, for example, a family member passes on, how can I grow from this?

The event surely shakes me to my core, as I care deeply for my family. It can cause me to become antisocial for weeks or months, it can cause a depression that seems endless in the moment, but I'll never let it break me, and I will recover.

In these times, understanding that death is a part of life does permit me to challenge myself to strengthen my resolve. It can seem impossible to move on, and it can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders while that beating in your chest is a little more hollow.

When I face an impending pressure like this, I rationalize it, and connect my emotions with a logical interpretation of the event.

"My grandfather has moved on from this life, but I will, someday, follow the same path. I can't let this stop my life from moving forward, it's not what millions of ancestors that fought through so much to get me here would want. I will do everything in my power to give back to the world that gave me so much, including this time with my grandfather that I so cherished."

Rationalizing like this will enable you to be free once more. It won't happen over night, but you have to keep moving forward. Going through grief like this can halt your mind as you find comfort by wallowing in the sorrow, but you can't let this happen. The second you decide "this is how it's going to be," it will become the truth. The power you have over your mind shouldn't be wasted like this, and you need to remember how to be in control of your life.

I have let trauma like this dictate my mood, my thoughts, my actions, but it has never produced a positive effect. The only success I've had, dealing with these events, is by moving forward in time, at a comfortable pace, and fully processing every last emotion, and every thought those emotions have brought. By letting these thoughts come and go naturally, they don't linger, and eventually, I can find closure in the realization that my family members are bound to the same fate that I am. 

Even if there is nothing waiting for us in the afterlife, the pains and stress of life will no longer be an issue. Recognition of a positive direction in life yields new power and strength for your being, even if you have to carry a new burden.

I wish anyone going through times of burden the best of luck in dealing with them. You're never alone on this planet, lean on those who care for you. It's likely that they would want to help if they knew you were going through pain.

~V

The people you surround yourself with are, hopefully, people that want the best for you. Sometimes, this is hard to believe. If you have issues justifying your self respect, find these people. They know you, and they know when you are hurting.

Self respect is one of the trickiest feelings to master, given the mind's potential to swing away from the balance between understanding your limitations and knowing your potential. Instead of worrying about this, I do my best to know myself at all times. This isn't a verbose process for me, and I'm typically capable of feeling my beliefs from within without an internal dialogue, but I am not you, and I must once again recommend a meditation session if you realize you are detached from your sense of self.

Meditation is necessary for everyone, even if they don't know they're doing it. Do you sit awake at night wondering what direction to take your life? (This is rhetorical, everyone does, and this is meditation)

Everyone needs time to sort through their desires and motivations, but true inner peace will come to those who have found contentment in what they have, though this doesn't mean giving up on your ambitions. Like everything in life, a balance needs to be achieved in order to put your mind on the right path, but as everyone is individually mentally constructed, it is the responsibility of the individual to find the time to figure out their direction, and to figure out what motivations are worth following through on.

All I can do is offer my opinions and my experiences in the hope that someone will benefit from them. Please, give yourself some time to meditate, and be patient with yourself.

~V